Gray....It is all about this ugly color

It is this awful color which is smudging my life …this vague color …which spreads gloominess wherever it exists …Actually I hat this color …May be at certain times of my life I used to wear this color, but now I hate it …yea I hate it …just because it is a color with no entity …or may be it is its vague entity which provokes me to hate it … If I could meet this color and talk to him I would just tell him …." I can not help hating you "… you know why?? Just because you have been smudging the paths of my life for a long time …. Nothing is crystal clear ….Nothing is frankly identified ….Nothing is giving a loud cry…. It is always quiet tears ….in an awful silence ….A sacred Silence …that nothing can interrupt …..it is the sadness Silence ….The Silence which fills the broken hearts …..It is a big tear….a broken heart….a gray shadow ….this is what I am leading now ….My be my mind is not in its top condition …May be my words are not in proper order …May be it seems to be a horrid post but this is what I wanted to tell …I wanted to raise my voice announcing that I hate what I feel ….I hate the sadness I am feeling right now
I hate my broken heart which is bleeding all the time.
I hate this Gray Shadow which is spreading over the lines of my life.
I hate these tears which are engraving painfully their repulsive channels over my cheeks…
I hate this feeling of "Hatred " …. I want to get over all this …..& I hate not knowing How …
I hate …Me..

To all those who might read my gloomy Post ….[ I beg your Pardon ……..But this is all what I've got at this moment ]I wish If I could over come all this ....Pray for me